it's been..too long!

wow...it's been quite a while since i last posted here..in this blog..my own blog... sigh...i really am not suitable as a blogger...but well..its my blog anyway..hahaha let see...what do we have here..hmm... i was just graduate from University last May!!clap clap..good job ijah (pats my own back)..you've finally finish your years of studying a.k.a torturing...sigh... and i just got a job...like 2 weeks ago...clap clap..good job ijah,good job(patting my own back again since i was alone right now)...after being jobless for almost a year...shame on you ijah!!kekeke...i'm lazy..what can i do?? actually,it wasn't because i didn't get a job before this,but i was just being a lazy bum,and decided not to take the offers...so much for being lazy...sigh..(shaking my head left and right)..i even got my dream job...and Internal Auditor...but i refused...such a lazy me...do i regret it??strangely,i'm not!!hahahaha...weird but its true...maybe i wasn't thinking too much about my future just yet...or maybe i was just being picky...i don't know really.. my new job...its quite a good deal...the pay is high...the jobs itself isn't too stressful just yet..but in the future..i don't know..maybe it'll be a little stressful..but i think,i can handle stress... talking about stress..to be honest,in my 24 years,i was never actually being too depressed..like that kind of depression/stress that i can't handle...nope,i never had that...i think i was never stressed out about anything at all..maybe i wasn't taking anything seriously...even with my study..when all of my friends being stressed out about upcoming examinations..i wasn't..i sleep peacefully the night before the exam.....that's why,when everyone was kinda depressed after the exams because the can't answer the questions..i'm not since i didn't study that much..there's nothing to be stress about!!lately,i come across this article saying that chocolate have these chemical thingy that can help us reduced stress...hmmm,so that's why i'm not depressed at all!!!i ate chocolates...a lot...especially the dark one...delicious!! i'm gonna end this here for today...since i have a flu..and i just ate my medicine,and now my head is spinning like crazy..so adios!

learning process...

idup ni satu proses pembelajaran yg sangat panjang kan??
dari kecik sampai besar....byak sgt benda yg kita belajar...
dari x pandai jalan,kite dah boley berlari pun...
dari x pandai cakap, kita dah boley marah org pun....
dari x pandai membaca, kita da terlebey pandai pun skunk...
dari xtau pasal perasaan,da pandai benci org pun....
tulis benda ni...aku rasa cam nk menangis...
tp...sepanjang 22 taun aku idup....ni first time aku belajar yg its better kalo kite luahkan apa yg kita rasa daripada kita pendam sensorg....coz lame2 benda kecik leh jadi besar...mcm api,mula2 kecik jer...tp sbb xde sape nk padam...api pun jadi besar dan bahaya.....wow...aku sgt emotional hari ni...kesan dari accident kot....
well...semalam aku jumpa kwn lama...CTK....kwn time skolah dl....lame x jumpa dia...da dkt 5 or 6 taun kot???byk benda aku x tau....byk benda yg aku kena ingat balik...byk benda yg wt aku terkejut....n byk benda yg wat aku rase nak marah........byk sgt benda yg aku x sangka dah jadi....sampai kepala aku ni x boley nk terima lagi....
so, aku decide...its time for me to actually told them what i really felt about them years ago...n even today...the reasons for my absences from their so call reunion...the reasons for me being like i've never been to that school...
but as i wrote what i really felt...it broke my heart...coz ape yg aku wat skunk x ubah cam aku salahkan org laen pasal ape yg da jadi kt aku....cam aku ni...teruk sgt...n benda ni wat aku rase cam nk nanges...n tetibe aku rase....aku btol2 berdendam dgn dorg sampai aku dah jadi benci ngan dorg sumer!!!!!benda ni wat aku rase teruk sangat...coz aku x penah berniat nk benci dorg....x penah sket pun...tp sbb aku simpan sumer benda dari dulu....mula2 just sedey...pastu x puas hati...pastu lame2 jadi marah....marah sgt sampai benda tu bertukar jadi dendam....n now dendam tu da tuka jadi benci....n aku x suke ape yg aku rase skunk....sbb aper jer yg aku dgr....wat aku jadi meluat sgt ngan dorg sumer...berdosa kan ader perasaan camni???but i can't help it....how am i supposed to feel now????i don't even know....

just close my eyes...

My feet on the ground but i can't run...
Drowning the noise inside my head..
Who is this girl that i've become???
Its killing me to see myself....
How do you learn how to forgive
When deep down inside you can't forget??
With all that i regret...
I pray for the first time in the long time...
The lies fade away....
Finally i'm waking up...
I feel like i can let it go...
Say everything i wanted to say...
i'm ok with being by myself...
When i close my eyes....
I know that i'm alive....
I never was sure...but now i am..
This was the choice i had to make...
Maybe i'll never understand..
Sometimes you've got to make mistakes...
I mean...how do you know where to go when you're going??
And how do you know that you know when it's over???
I see it now...for the first time in a long time...
Believe me when i say...
That i've finally waking up...and finally i've feel that i can let it go...everything..

aku penat....

aku sgt penat....
kenapa aku penat????
sebab aku buat kerja yg memenatkan...
memang la sangat penat...
betul tak????
activities for July and slightly August:

1)pergi putrajaya....ader flower's festival....kekekekeke....best mmg best...
tapi sgt penat....ye la...pegi jalan2 tgk bunga....penat kan tuh....pergi kol 9.30 pastu balik kol 12....nape balik awal???sbb esoknyer ada aktiviti yg lg memenatkan...


2)esok paginyer....kol 4.30 pg da bangon....nk g pnjt Bukit Broga....huhuhuhuh...x
cukup tido....kan da penat tuh....siap2..gerak lam kol 5.30 pg....nape g panjat
bukit awal pg????kononnyer nk tgk sunrise....sudahnyer sunrise ntah kemana....
penat je yg lebey...huhuhuhuhu

3)turun bukit Broga.....pergi serang air terjun sg.Tekala lak....ha...yg ni best walaupun mmg penat kan....hahahaha.....mandi air terjun weyh....bapok syok!!!!!kekekekek...tapi penatnyer......

4)hari ni g sg Gabai lak...kt Hulu Langat....air terjun jugak...hehehehehe...best....tp laaaaaagi penat...sbb ape????sbb nk sampai kt air terjun tu kena panjat tangga!!!!tinggi lak tu....rase macam panjat bukit Broga skali lagi da....huhuhuhu...sib bek best....ktorg wat nasi lemak ngan sandwich....hihihihi...best...tapi penat....

asyik penat je kan.....nape la asyik rase penat ni????petanda umur da meningkat kot???
kekekekekek...anayway...Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan al-Mubarak...semoga bulan yg mulia ini memberi seribu pengertian dan penyesalan...AMIN....

ooooohhhhhh....

arghhhh...mateku mangantuk sekali!!!!...tp skunk senja...x boley tido...kang giler...
xpe2...tahan sket yer mate...nape sayer mengantuk????
sbb mlm td tido kol 3...pastu bangon kol 7...nk g kelas korea...urghhhh...bapak malas!!
nape tido kol 3???sbb siang tu bangon tido kol 12 tengahari!!!kekekekeke...padan muke
tido lame sgt...dah malam x boley tido!!!
ditambah lg ngan org tgk bola malam tadi...uhhh...lg x boley tido...lampu tv tu menggoda jer!!!kekekeke
oh ya...malam tadi kan final world cup....dorg ckp ader event kat I-City...
kate ader celebrities!!!wahahahahaha...ade aku kesah???????????????
sbb tu la jalan jam terok malam td!!!heran....org ni xde TV ke kt umah???
sebok2 nk tgk kt skrin besar kt I-City tuh!!!bkn negara kite yg lawan pown!!!
kekekekeke...whatever....anyway...congrats Spain for winning the oh so prestigious World Cup!!!

.....just.....

hehehehe....bosan ler.....
saje jer post gmbr i....and kuku i ni....
hahahahaha.....

talking about the worst.....that might happen....

hello...i'm back...
staying at home has made me a current issue's girl!!!!kekekekeke
and now the so-called-story about al-arqam again....what???not again?????
hell yeah!!!well few days ago....aku bace kt newspaper...u know...sal kes al-arqam la kan...
u know ape yg funny sgt????regarding the tsunami in ACHEH.....they said that it happens because....aiii...it happen because the abuya is mad...at Acheh's people..????why he's mad???
well abuya's second wife,khatijah am ( i guess...), said that org Acheh nyer behavior yg asyik wat maksiat yg wat abuya marah....coz' they said that Acheh is abuya's land????hohohohho weird hah???
actually dorg de wat buku sal ni...and just de jual kt Acheh jer....(wonder why???)
ader gak dorg tulis sal memula org2 kt Acheh berdoa minta tolong dengan ALLAH...tp x jadi ape2 pown....but then dorg mtk tolong or i can say yg dorg berdoa kpd Abuya....and dang!!!tsunami pun berenti...and dorg selamat!!!whoa!!!!!karutnyer!!!!!
what is wrong with this people????
how dare they questioned about ALLAH's power....and to say that they compared it to human...isn't it too much????....it might sound funny but seriously, this is just too much!!!
aku ni bukan la alim sgt kan....tp at least aku tau yg ALLAH tu sempurna...mane leh compare ngan kite...manusia biasa ni....and he's not even a RASUL....
those people....bile la dorg nk sedar....haiiiii....

owh and....lately aku concern sgt dgn hal bantuan ke GAZA...
hmmm....semoga dorg selamat sampai....
well byk sgt halangan kalo kite nk wat baik kan....
semoga ALLAH lindungi dorg sumer.....
Amin......